Here is some food for thought on the matter of skin color, actually on “skin tone”.
Where does one’s skin color/tone preference come from? Is there a difference? This idea of being attracted to a specific tone recently came up in conversation with a friend, let us call her Suzanne. Suzanne likes fair toned girls. When naming the traits Suzanne is looking for in a female she expressed wanting to be with someone fair toned. This ideal girl could be of any race as long as she was fair toned or no more than two shades away from Suzanne’s own fair color. Upon hearing this I had to ask myself, is this just a different way of saying white is good and black is bad?
Let’s ask the real question which affected me to write this, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of someone else’s preferences? Is it even allowed to say out loud you prefer lighter toned over darker toned or vice versa? Should I have an issue when people say they are not attracted to dark toned people? Should fair toned people have an issue if I say I am not attracted to them? Is this any different from saying I prefer **burly lumber jacks dressed in plaid as opposed to lean jockeys dressed in chevron? Where is the line!
It should be noted that I treat feelings as facts regardless of if they are unfounded or not. I am feeling them, they are here, and they are REAL. With that being stated, I immediately was put off by Suzanne’s comment. Now I am trying to understand why. Is it because I am outside of her ideal tone range? If I was in her ideal tone range would I feel differently? Why do I care I’m not trying to date Suzanne! Do other people think like this? If so, are guys not choosing to date me because I fall out of their +/- 2 tone range?!
The logical side of me wants to shout out the obvious, PREFERENCES ARE REAL! Preferences for ethnicity, religion, education, financial well being, height and body type, exist. I just have never heard this preference phrased as Suzanne phrased it. It seems to be such an oxymoron, race doesn’t matter but skin tone matters. Personally I think the phrasing is a cover up by person in denial. Either way I came to my conclusion that our reaction to someone else’s preferences will depend on what side of the line we fall. Being the perfect shade of champagne toasted caramel that I am, I fell out of that range and felt some type of way about it. I was in my feelings and did not comprehend the non-inclusiveness of the comment. Ultimately we all have our preferences we just need to realize that those on the opposite side of our preference are people and have feelings too.
The excerpt below is of a g-chat conversation I had with a friend. It sums up everything I feel on this matter.
friend I gchat with: sayyy whattt, she missing out
me: at first i was like.. is that like having a preference in ice cream?! then i thought no ice cream doesn’t have feelings
** It should also be noted that I am color blind in the laws of attraction, and I really do love a burly lumber jack in plaid preferably driving a gas guzzling non-eco friendly truck!