Finding Home by Giovannah Philippeaux

The average American works 40 hours a week, roughly 8 hours a day. This is more time than we spend at home or with our families; the majority of our day, the majority of our adult lives are spent working. Working plays a key role in our lives, it can provide us with a sense of purpose and routine, it can build important social networks, and it can establish our place in the larger order of society.

Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics http://www.bls.gov/tus/charts/

For the past five years I have struggled to find permanent employment. I have gone from internships, AmeriCorps, internships again, and finally back to school hoping that a second degree would secure me a spot in the modern-day workforce. Nothing worked. In the last three years it has only gotten worse. It has been a struggle, that I am sure many understand, to find a place and a sense of security. Within the last few years I have been able to secure only temporary part-time work, any little bit helps, but after a while the insecurity takes a toll on the ego. There are days that I just give up. Where I walk around in a haze, a dense fog, not knowing if I am coming or going. I have applied to so many jobs with no success that I doubt my capabilities. Now when I go to apply for job, I think “what’s the point? I won’t get it.”

You see, since childhood we’ve been fed this dream. Graduate college, get a great job, get a promotion, meet a good man, marry, maybe get a Masters, have some kids, get an even better job. Or some combination of this. Point being, that after college you were to take your place in society. You were to become a functioning member of your community. Well that’s difficult when you don’t have a job and can’t seem to get one. Soon, things begin to pass you by and friendships fall away. Your fellow graduates move on to careers, marriages, and a few into parenthood. And you’re left alone, in a dark place, staring at your yearbook picture asking yourself where did I go wrong and why do I look pregnant?

It’s been a struggle, and one is still struggling but I am grateful for one thing, this little site. In between jobs this little site keeps me going. I wake up in the morning with something to think about and a project to work on. When I am at my worse, I am still committed to something, to this. Yeah, I might not have gotten a great job after college, I might not be engaged, pregnant, or up for a promotion. I might have completely failed at the role of productive citizen and functioning member of society. I may have missed the boat when it came to finding my place in the traditional way, but I got the opportunity to make my own home instead.

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3 thoughts on “Finding Home by Giovannah Philippeaux

  1. Omg, I am glad I forced myself out of my haze and onto this site. Sooooo relatable, trust me. Totally overstand your story and your struggle and this type of journey. Thank you. You are not alone!

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